Dear Joseph Cooper,

Sometimes I feel like I live in a zipper cart. Remember the carnival zipper? I experience continual rocking and astronaut toys keep falling out of my pockets. I've never owned astronaut toys. Have you? I believe that the astronaut toys may be yours. They keep hitting me on the head and in the teeth. I can't catch them. My cart rocks so fast and flips over and over again. Please claim and remove your astronaut toys! I'm not ready for space. Let me know when they're gone.

Yours truly,

goon mama